I have been training for my first ultra-marathon since January of 2022. I was bit by the running bug after listening to the book Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins and completing my first marathon in October 2021 in Boise, ID. While training this past weekend, a speaker named Eddie Pinero crossed my Youtube playlist, and his perspective on Imposter syndrome created a paradigm shift in my worldview. I would like to share this epiphany now.
"You should see a therapist.", "That's crazy.", "Why would you willinglingly put yourself through that?", and my personal favorite, "What's wrong with you?"; these are just some of the responses I've received when my race comes up. Traditional, normative psychology seeks to determine a "normal" statistically, then the science arrives at explanations for abnormal behavior. I hold no animosity towards anyone who doesn't understand why people choose to voluntarily place them under extreme duress. Evolution has told us to seek comfort above all else. Modern society is addicted to comfort and instant gratification. The prevailing theory on imposter syndrome is that it results when a person chooses to leave their comfort zone, and, typically, it is looked at as something to be suppressed.
Until this particular run on this particular day, I looked at it as a necessary evil, an inevitable but unfortunate result of placing myself in an uncomfortable position. Not so, said Mr. Pinero; Imposter syndrome is as natural as breathing for those that crave self improvement and its lack, not its presence, should be cause for concern. He likened it to jumping into a cold lake; physiologically, your body enters fight or flight, norepinephrine levels surge, and your body does whatever it can to keep your brain alive. The reward of dopamine only arrives after the stimulus is activated. Imposter syndrome is the psychological result to adverse stimulus, and the flow-hack and epiphany are only available on the other side of the figurative wall the brain puts up to protect the ego.
My epiphany that day was that my acute awareness of my own imposter syndrome was my super power, not my kryptonite. It makes me unique in a society that embraces comfort at the expense of self-actualization. My reward was an incredible sense of calm in midst of a brutal run. For those that are familiar with flow hacking, I had found my catalyst and my cheat code for sustained personal growth.
For those curious about my next level up, visit https://runtherut.com/50k-race-details/. It is far and away the most difficult single event I have ever attempted, and I am ecstatic about the personal growth I will achieve as I push myself to my mental lmits.
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